I *Heart* The Man

"Hi I ordered service that began on March 10, but due to some problems on your end, I didn't have service until yesterday, March 19, so I need my bill to reflect that."

"We don't do that." (terse)

"But my service didn't begin until a week and a half after billing began."

"There's no way I can do that." (curt)

"But three technicians came out and did all sorts of work on the outside line and there are records of service calls all over the place and can I have a credit or something?"

"Maybe I can arrange a credit." (terse and curt)

"Uhhh..."

"Let me call the repair department - please hold." (impatient)

*elevator music*

"I can't get them on the line for another five minutes or so, but I am going to credit you with one month of phone service at $10.69." (chucking to herself ever so silently)

"Er, wait a minute, I've also been unable to use internet service [which is $30 on top of the phone line charge]..."

"We don't credit for internet, only the phone line, and that's one month at $10.69." (as if she's doing me a favor)

"Who do I talk to about internet billing?"

"That would be me." (with the voice of someone who knows she's the boss of me)

"Um..."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" (sickly sweet)

"No."

*mutter*